Are You in an Emotional Affairs?

82% of affairs happen with someone who was at first "just a friend," according to noted infidelity researcher Shirley P. Glass.

Are you in an Emotional Affair?

YOU'VE PROBABLY CROSSED THE LINE IF YOU...

• Touch your male friend in "legal" ways, like picking lint off his blazer.

• Pay extra attention to how you look before you see him. -

• Think crush-like thoughts like, He'd love this song!

• Tell him more details about your day than you do your partner.

• No longer feel comfortable telling your husband about this person and begin to cover up your relationship.

• Experience increasing sexual tension; you admit your attraction to him but also insist to yourself that you would never act on it.

IT'S ABOUT TO GET PHYSICAL WHEN YOU...

• Find yourself feeling vulnerable and turn to the other man for support rather than to your husband or a trusted relative or girlfriend.

• Accelerate the level of intimacy through sexual or suggestive talk over e-mail or the phone.

• Put yourself in a situation where the two of you could be alone.

TO FORTIFY YOUR MARRIAGE...

• Stay honest with your husband. Share with him all your hopes, triumphs, and failures — as well as your attractions and temptations, which will help keep you from acting on them.

• Make time for just the two of you on a regular basis — away from the kids, your friends, and family.

• Surround yourself with happily married friends who don't believe in fooling around. Having positive, emotionally connected role models will help you stay on track

"READERS REVEAL I KNEW I'D GONE TOO FAR WHEN. . ."

"The guy who I was flirting with regularly over e-mail attended the same event as me and my fiancé. When I introduced them, my face flushed as red as a tomato — I felt embarrassed and guilty about my fiancé meeting this guy, so I knew what I was doing was wrong." — Carolyn, 31, Westfield, NJ

"One drunken night, my best guy friend and I confessed we had always liked each other. He was a perfect gentleman and left my place before we crossed the physical line. The next day I was completely embarrassed and knew that I didn't want to jeopardize the relationship with my boyfriend so I ended the friendship. And now the boyfriend is my husband, so I'm glad I did." — Allie, 29, Yonkers, NY

"The cute tech guy who I'd been flirting with at my office said to me, 'You're not going to invite me in?' after I accepted a ride home from him. I liked the attention of him buying me vending machine snacks and complimenting me, but my husband would've had a holy heart attack if he knew." — Amy, 38, Chicago

"My best guy friend and I were snuggled on his couch underneath a blanket when I realized that neither his girlfriend nor my boyfriend would be happy if they saw us — and that our platonic relationship wasn't as platonic as we thought." — Kim, 35, New Orleans

*Names have been changed.